The Twelve o'clock News Channel!
by uhyeahitsteamdark
Summary: Zelda and Link host a news channel featuring special news, weather, special guests and random conversations after getting irritated by Master Hand and Crazy Hand's mediocre job. Link is kind of stupid, while Zelda is slightly angry. Stupidity.
1. Chapter 1

**I haven't updated in a long time, so I thought I would come back with a new story. Zelda and Link host a news channel...find out the special news, weather, daily guest, and random conversations!**

**Reviews:**

**Chapter 1: Broadcast**

I do not own the smashers or any related characters, and I am in no way affiliated with Nintendo.

Zelda hesitantly changed the channel, knowing that if something else incredibly stupid came on that she would be bombarded with anger. It was "The twelve o'clock News," which came on every day at three o'clock for inexplicable reasons.

Master Hand and Crazy Hand were the anchors.

"This might be good," Zelda said optimistically.

"Hello!" Boomed Master Hand. "Today we will be discussing news!"

"That's right!" Crazy Hand approved.

"Anyway," started Master Hand, "you thought you knew chickens. I guess. But something miraculous happened! We were just watching a chicken, when suddenly, some sort of round object came out! But that's not all," Master Hand assured as Zelda shook with rage. "It started to break apart and another creature came out!"

"Talk about reproduction," Crazy Hand tried to joke before realizing that it was general logic.

"That's it!" Zelda screamed. "Link, we're becoming the new anchors! This is ridiculous! It's not even news!"

"Uh...when did I get here?" wondered Link as he suddenly appeared on the couch. The cloud of smoke that he was supposed to appear in didn't come till about ten seconds afterward. "Never mind, to the car!"

"It's only ten steps from here, though," said Zelda. They decided to walk.

"We would like to become the new anchors," said Zelda.

"You would have to kick us out first, boss!" yelled Master Hand. The two hands were promptly kicked out.

Link and Zelda took their seats in the chairs. Zelda faced the camera.

"Hey, I'm Link, and this is Zelda!" said Link. "We'll be replacing the hands for twelve o'clock news."

"Thank you, Link," said Zelda. "Today, an entire school cafeteria had all the food eaten from it. The students were left dumbfounded. What's the source? Just watch this video." Zelda reached into a bag on the floor and pulled out a video tape. She placed it in a tape player offscreen and turned on the TV, which was then displayed for the audience. It revealed chimpanzees swimming around.

"Sorry, wrong tape," admitted Zelda. She took it out and put a different one inside.

Several children were screaming in terror as Yoshi ate down all the food in the cafeteria. The police all rushed in and started shooting a wall for no reason. Yoshi continued to consume foods all along the cafeteria. The camera cut back to Zelda and Link.

"I like food," said Link.

"Well, that's what happened," said Zelda. "Now, for the weather." The camera cut to a map that Link and Zelda stood in front of. "It is cloudy somewhere, I'm sure." She held a stick and pointed somewhere on the map, and a cloud appeared there. "A strong lightning storm has occurred in our local area." She pointed a stick somewhere else on the map and a cloud appeared on the map there. Lightning flew out and struck Link even though it was only a special effect. He started screaming.

The camera cut back to the room with Link and Zelda sitting in their chairs.

"Now, put your hands together for today's special guest, Yoshi!" Link clapped so hard his hands flew off as Yoshi entered the room. "Hi, welcome! You ate all the food in the cafeteria?" asked Zelda.

"Hey. Yeah!" said Yoshi.

"Did it taste good?" asked Link. This was ignored.

"I don't know if I'm going to jail though," said Yoshi.

"Okay...bye!" said Zelda as she threw Yoshi out the window. He soared into the sky and a plane flew through him and that was the end of him.

"Well, that's our show!" said Zelda, and Link pushed a button to play a laugh track.

"Okay...that's not really that funny, but sure. Anyways, come back tomorrow!"

**I hope you liked it. Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**It's been a while. **

**Chapter 2: Next Broadcast**

The light went on in the newsroom, as Zelda scooted around in her chair. She seemed to be drunk.

The camera turned on.

"Today--" started Link.

"BEANS!" Zelda exclaimed.

"OK, remember how you shouldn't do that on TV?" asked the cameraman.

Zelda spun around in her chair.

"Today, a warpstar was stolen, but we haven't officially caught the criminal. But we have a slight idea," he added, looking suspiciously at a lamp.

"More news on that later," Zelda said.

"No, we—sort of have to finish first."

"Oh, oh! I get it!" said Zelda, attempting to give the cameraman a high five but instead throwing a mashed potato at him.

"Let's skip the weather," said Link. "Or just look out your window. Do something for yourself..." Then, in an exaggerated tone, added, "that includes not stealing!" He then shot another glance at the lamp that didn't respond. "Here's our special guest!"

Ness fell down into a chair.

"Tell me—how did you become a smasher?"

"Well, it was one day in my yard. I got angry and shot out electricity."

"BEANS!" screamed Zelda again.

"OK, stop doing that." said the cameraman.

"Then I decided to become a smasher!"

There was a pause.

"Do you have any other stories?"

"I tried to warn you," said Zelda.

The ground below Ness started shaking, and a giant can of beans came up and was launched out into the sky, with Ness in it, startling them both. It exploded.

**Uh...ok. **


End file.
